In our mini-mini-mini version of the Toronto International Film Festival, we’ve seen two films that really grabbed us.

Walk on Water, an Israeli film written by Gal Ochovsky and directed by Eytan Fox, is just brilliant. It’s entertaining, deeply moving and possibly the most perfectly political movie I’ve ever seen. I found myself missing the characters’ company a few hours after the film ended.

Gunner Palace is a documentary about the daily life of U.S. troops in Baghdad — specifically, the 2/3 Field Artillery based in one of Uday Hussein’s palaces. Filmmaker Michael Tucker elicits incredibly candid comments from the soldiers about their sense of doubt and futility over the American occupation.

Five other things Arnold Schwarzenegger misremembered from his childhood in Austria:

“Terminator T-1000 units prowled the streets of Saltzburg, while the last remnants of humanity took refuge in the Eisriesenwelt Caves.”

“Communist alien predators hunted us for sport.”

“Teenage male pregnancy was rampant from Bregenz to Zwettl.”

“Instead of teachers, children in Kindergarten had to learn from state police officers.”

“Nobody was allowed to go away on holiday. We had to settle for having memories of a vacation implanted in our brains.”

Just watching The Last Samurai on DVD. One of the samurai warriors who have captured Tom Cruise’s character has just barked “Insolent swine!” at him.

The writer must be especially adept at stifling his gag reflex to have penned a line like that. (So far, nobody has shouted “After him, you fools!” But it may just be a matter of time. This is, after all, the guy who may have killed Star Trek’s movie franchise for a generation with “Nemesis.”) I hope he wrote it reluctantly after a studio executive insisted on the line in a script note.

Then again, sooner or later, anyone who writes for money probably has to fall back on an “Insolent swine!” or two sooner or later. I’ve written my share of “Let me be clear” and “It’s great to be back here in insert name of city here!” lines in speeches. And I’d like to say I’ll never write another one, but I’m not sure that isn’t a promise I won’t break. (Much like my pledge years ago to avoid triple negatives.)

Not on purpose. It’s just that when a deadline is looming, and “Let me be clear” or “Insolent swine” comes more easily to mind than “Four score and seven years ago,” well… let’s just say the fight against mediocrity demands eternal vigilance.