As for the continents, in fairness to Ms. Nooyi, she referred to being taught as a child about “the five major continents: Europe, Asia, Africa, and North and South America. Now, let me issue a profound apology to both Australia and Antarctica. I bear neither of these continents any ill will. It’s just that we humans have only five fingers on each hand, so my analogy doesn’t work with seven continents.”

She continued a while later, “This analogy of the five fingers as the five major continents leaves the long, middle finger for North America, and, in particular, the United States. As the longest of the fingers, it really stands out. The middle finger anchors every function that the hand performs and is the key to all of the fingers working together efficiently and effectively. This is a really good thing, and has given the U.S. a leg up in global business since the end of World War I.

“However, if used inappropriately — just like the U.S. itself — the middle finger can convey a negative message and get us in trouble. You know what I’m talking about.”

Me, I think by the time you’ve had to alter the number of continents on the planet and redefine one to represent a single country, the number of people who know what you’re talking about can be counted on the fingers of one… er… you know.

Still, I can understand a Pepsi representative giving up on Australia and Antarctica. Penguins don’t drink a lot of cola, and Pepsi’s major competitor ran into a spot of trouble tryng to expand market share Down Under.

Five continents?