With the news that John Kerry has chosen John Edwards as his running mate, there’s one inevitable question on everyone’s lips.
And the answer: of course I’m disappointed.
Kerry had the opportunity to make history by nominating someone who is not only an obscure Canadian, but a member of the speechwriting community. Yet he passed me by.
I am not, however, bitter. With a cheery “It’s America’s loss, not mine,” I wish Mr. Edwards all the luck in the world.
I certainly won’t spend every evening, say, devouring bags of chips and pints of ice cream, throwing back the Bailey’s and sobbing at the news, “It should’ve been me, you bastards!” Nobody, least of all me, wants a repeat of 2000.
Nor will I be heeding the calls from my countless fans to stalk Mssrs. Kerry and Edwards throughout the campaign with a banner reading “IT’S NOT TOO LATE – CALL ME”. Of course, I can’t stop anyone who feels so inclined, and wants to pick up the fabric, paint and brushes from my unlocked garage between the hours of 9 and 10 p.m. this evening.
No, my thoughts today are with Mr. Kerry, who I hope can stand that insufferable high-pitched snort Mr. Edwards makes every time he giggles, and with Mr. Edwards, who should drop me a line if he wants to know what Mr. Kerry says about him when he’s not around.
It is time to unite behind them, in a strong and determined campaign to oust George W. Bush.
Say, has he formally announced if Cheney’s still on the ticket?
