If you’re nauseated at the thought of two more friggin’ days of treacly goodness and light before we get to the real holiday — Boxing Day, and its attendant retail orgy — then here’s a quick dose of desperately needed sourness: the reviews for National Treasure. A sample:

“People run. Things blow up. Sometimes, just to add another layer of nuance, people run away as things blow up.”

“Rancid cinematic cheese.”

“Has all the soul, wit and originality of a major co-branding campaign.”

Or, if you need the heavy stuff, read some pans of kids’ Christmas movies. Like Polar Express:

“A failed and lifeless experiment in which everything goes wrong.”

Doesn’t that just induce frostbite in the cockles of your heart? You’re welcome.