Fellow parents, if you’re wondering how you can help your child grow up to be a little less afflicted by homophobia than the current generation, you’ll want to read this guest entry at Lawrence Lessig’s blog, Love, Family, and Fairness, or How to Raise a Gay Friendly Child.
Many heterosexual people –even those who avoid political activity — have become allies in the struggle for civil rights simply by the way they talk to their children. Want to join them? If so, read on for ten things you might say if you want to raise a child who can love, accept, and — as fate might have it –even be a happy person who is gay.
It’s great reading. One little gripe — the post begins like this:
Imagine that one day you hear your child at play say to another “The way you throw is so gay.” It seems “gay” has become a catch-all insult. How do you respond?
…and never actually answers that question.
So, ODTAA community, how do you respond to that comment by your child?
Fortunately, I’ve yet to hear that one from one of my own children’s mouths, but I’m ready if I do (and, based on what I hear from other kids, I should be).
1) It’s not cool to make fun of other kids based on how they throw (or, whatever),
2) If you do feel the need to make fun of someone, that’s not the word to use.
3) There’s absolutely nothing wrong with being gay, so it’s hardly an effective insult.
I don’t know, we’ll see if it happens… I imagine I would say, “How do you know how ALL gay people throw?” and proceed to point out how insulting it is to ridicule someone like that and bash a group of people while doing it.
I really don’t know. Perhaps I would just tell him/her to not be such a little jerk and be done with it.
I would like to say that I would have the perfect lesson to teach them if the need arose, but there are so many millions of things to keep track of as a parent, I don’t know if I could offer the wisest comments at the drop of a hat, or at the drop of a lame slur for that matter… hopefully my disapproval would be all that was needed to teach them a lesson.
Whooee! That takes me back t’ when I was jest a young kiddie ’bout 10 or 11. We was out ridin’ in the car with my ol’ Mum an’ Dad. My little brother come out an’ sed he hated all the Catholics. We was Protestants an’ sumtimes we’d scrap with the kids from St. Mary’s School. That’s where little JohnDavey got that notion.
Well, my ol’ Dad musta only been bout 35 at the time. He pulled the car over an’ told us ’bout all the good Catholics who was friends o’ his an’ friends o’ our family an’ he told us ’bout the Catholic fellers who sailed with him in the Navy in the war an’ he let us know it weren’t allowed t’ hate people on accounta their religion. Ol’ Dad’s been dead fer ’bout 7 years now an’ that scoldin’ happened in the 1960’s but I still remember that day like it was yesterday.
When things is serious, it ain’t always best t’ sugar-coat it fer the kiddies. They gotta know sum things is more important than others. I reckon parents need t’ take charge sumtimes an’ lay down the law. We can’t jest let the kiddies decide fer ’emselves what’s best fer ’em.
Yores trooly,
JimBobby