Gillette has escalated the razor wars yet again, unveiling a new line of razors on Wednesday with five blades and a lubricating strip on both the front and back.
We’re closing quickly on the Platinum Mach 14, folks…
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The Fusion will also be available in a power version and features a micro-chip that regulates the voltage and blade action. Other high-tech features include a low battery indicator light and a safety switch that shuts the razor down after eight minutes of continuous operation.
Does it come with cell phone capabilities?Text messaging? Can I link it with my iPod?
Personally, I don’t know my no one has picked up on that other great SNL invention: the disposable diaper with seeds you can plant (corn for girls, pumpkin for boys).
I thought I recalled a piece in The Onion on the same topic. It turns out that my memory isn’t completely gone afterall.
http://www.theonion.com/content/node/33930
Fuck Everything, We’re Doing Five Blades
By James M. Kilts
CEO and President,
The Gillette Company
February 18, 2004 | Issue 40•07
Would someone tell me how this happened? We were the fucking vanguard of shaving in this country. The Gillette Mach3 was the razor to own. Then the other guy came out with a three-blade razor. Were we scared? Hell, no. Because we hit back with a little thing called the Mach3Turbo. That’s three blades and an aloe strip. For moisture. But you know what happened next? Shut up, I’m telling you what happened‚Äîthe bastards went to four blades. Now we’re standing around with our cocks in our hands, selling three blades and a strip. Moisture or no, suddenly we’re the chumps. Well, fuck it. We’re going to five blades…