Everyone seems to be telling you what voters were trying to tell politicians on election day. For example, as spotted by Timmy, the Toronto Sun says:

What voters collectively said on Monday was crystal clear. They want to test-drive a Harper government — one constrained, but not paralysed, by the opposition. They want Parliament to work and to pass laws that make their lives better and promote national unity.

Nuh-huh-huh-huh-huh-no. Wrong.

Not that I mean to suggest the 14.8 million Canadians who voted for 1,634 candidates from 15 different parties in 308 ridings weren’t speaking with one conveniently packagable voice. Far from it. Here’s the message Canadians sent on January 23rd:

We love the Conservatives, Liberals, NDP, Bloc, Greens and Christian Heritage Party, but hate the Bloc, Greens, Conservatives, Liberals, NDP and Christian Heritage Party. We want a majority government that will rule the country with an iron fist, subject only to the fact that they have fewer than 50 per cent of the seats in Parliament. We want subs in the Arctic, cuts in military spending, participation in whatever war George W. Bush happens to dream up, staunch opposition to U.S. adventurism, a gun registry, no gun registry, free votes on fundamental issues of human rights, the revoking of the notwithstanding clause, a separate and independent Quebec within a strong and renewed Confederation, for God to bless, forsake and ignore Canada, private for-profit medicine that respects the inviolability of public medicare, public daycare funded by pelting parents with small amounts of money, negative advertising that doesn’t criticize anyone, a reduction in the GST that leaves it at its current level, large corporate tax cuts that are immediately clawed back, strict adherence to the Kyoto Accord while abandoning it altogether, and same-sex marriage for everyone except lesbians, gays and bisexuals.

Did I miss anything?