- “On a scale of 1 to 10, where 1 is mild irritation and 10 is spitting foam-flecked rage, how do you feel about the redesign?”
- “If you could be any animal, what kind of animal would you be? And would you be prepared to dress up as that animal if we asked you to?”
- “When you receive our e-newsletter, do you delete it without reading? Or does your spam filter catch it first?”
- “Thinking of the last time you used our app, which Franz Kafka character did you feel like?”
- “In a moment, I’m going to blow a piercing whistle into the phone while I drag my fingernails down a blackboard. On a scale of 1 to 5, where 1 is ‘quite similar’ and 5 is ‘much better’, please compare it to your last customer service experience with us.”
- “Let’s say you were given the choice between three minutes on the phone listening to our hold music, and an eternity chained to a rock while an eagle eats your liver. Would you prefer a bald or golden eagle?”
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